Name: Anonymous

Info:: Today was my first visit to your site, and I read the HORROR STORIES with a terrible sense of dread.  I is no comfort to me that other people have been through/are going through what I experienced.  So here's my story in brief, then a couple words of advice.

No, I didn't meet my ex-husband on the Internet.  He was a cop in my home town.  Everyone knew him and he knew every judge, attorney and cop in the County.

After two and a half years of marriage, I discovered that he had been sleeping with someone else the entire time and the lies began to unfold by the dozens.  The "separate life" he was living was intricately woven to keep her and I from finding out the truth about each other.  He had said and done many things along the way with the intent of creating an advantage for himself once the marriage ended.

The plot gets much thicker and more hideous, but I am writing to say that if your spouse is acting suspiciously, DON'T WAIT TO INVESTIGATE.  You can do this very confidentially by hiring an investigator from outside your area.  It took me 2 years to get up the nerve and when I finally hired someone, he resolved the issue for me in a matter of days.

So...  trust a professional!  It's worth it.  Ask for photos and/or recordings that can't be misinterpreted (although my ex had a story for everything!)

Finally, the best step in my recovery was reading a book by Susan Forward (she wrote The Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them).

It's called WHEN YOUR LOVER IS A LIAR.  It's a special order at most bookstores, but it's worth reading.

In it she profiles sociopathic behavior and lists the most common actions.

Her Top 10 lists are included in every one of the stories posted on this site...so read the book...learn what the cues are and most of all, read the part about how YOU need to come out of denial and be honest with yourself about how this person is being DISHONEST with you!

Had I read it earlier, I might have saved my home, my savings, my heart, my health and my money.  And I wouldn't have put my child through hell for the sake of trying to make the marriage work.

I don't trust people much any more, and if  you run a background on me, you'll find a bankruptcy and a restraining order.  The bankruptcy to try to stop him from suing me every week...and after being stalked by him for weeks, I wrote a letter to his mistress asking the two of them to leave me alone.  They called the Police and made me out to be the villain.
 

So, in addition to all the other damage, dangerous people even know how to ruin you BEHIND the scenes.

Good luck to all of you!  You have taken the hardest step by visiting this site.  You can stop someone from ruining your life, but it takes courage, diligence and the willingness to let go of that dream that is, really, a nightmare.

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